Universal Button

“Good morning, thank you for coming. Benjamin spoke very highly of you and your work.”

“Yes, thank you for having me Mr. Cole. I really appreciate the opportunity.” 

“Please, call me Vincent. Would you like any coffee? Water? We have La Croix. Also, please help yourself to the scones, they are from a really great spot down the street.” 

“Funny, I actually think I stopped at that place on my way here! Crumble City Coffee and Cakes? On 14th? Yeah, I just ate one of their raspberry scones right outside your building. It was moist, not too sweet, really delicious.”

“I guess we have similar taste! Don’t hold back if you want another, we’re all friends here.” 

“Are we waiting for anyone else or should I get into it?” 

“You know what, Benjamin just texted to say he’s running late and to get started without him. Are you comfortable with that?” 

“Yeah, we can always catch him up when he arrives. I’m too excited about this idea to sit for long without talking about it!”

“Benjamin said it could be big.”

“I think so. As he may have told you, I’ve been working on this for a while. The seed of it came to me a few years back, when I was on a day trip down the coast surfing with an old college friend. As I always do, I baked a batch of cookies before the outing, oatmeal chocolate chip. There is really nothing better than cookies and milk on the beach after a full day of surfing. 

We had a perfect morning catching swells and soaking up the sun. I was feeling fantastic. We took a quick break from the surf and I was going to sneak an early cookie before getting back into the water. Suddenly, without warning, an anxious thought came to mind: ‘Did I turn off the oven?’ 

My friend tried to reassure me, but I couldn’t shake the worry. We ended up leaving the beach soon after to drive home and make sure my apartment wasn’t on fire. I had, in fact, turned off the oven.

But I remember thinking, on the way back, what if there was simply a button I could press? While on the beach? A button that was connected to my oven, that could turn it off remotely?

I simmered with this idea for a while. As I did, I came across other scenarios in my day-to-day where it seemed just such a button was all I would need to have a smoother, more peaceful flow of life.

For example, this past summer, my partner and I went on a week-long vacation where we ate a lot of heavy food. After we returned we were trying to eat healthily for a stretch, to reset. The week of our return, on a night I was in charge of dinner, I ended getting stuck at the office. It was looking like we would be eating quite late, as I would have to get home and cook us a full meal from scratch.

On my ride home, stomach rumbling, I thought to myself, what if I had a button? One I could press to turn on our oven remotely, so that it would be ready to cook those root vegetables, or whatever was for dinner, as soon as I walked in the door? To avoid those precious extra minutes waiting for it to preheat?”

“So... the button is connected to your oven?” 

“Well that’s just the thing, Vincent. Yes, of course, I think about ovens a lot, and the button could be connected to the oven. That alone may be a market-viable use-case. 

But, I want to take it a level further. What if these buttons were customizable? What if, for each of our eventual customers, their button could connect to the device that most occupied their thoughts? Or, what if these buttons could be connected to things that aren’t even electronic? What if they could connect to people?” 

“…I’m listening.” 

“I don’t know if you have social media yourself Vincent, but you must be familiar. Say you are scrolling through and you see the profile of some old acquaintance, and this person’s profile and is full of pictures of them looking content, fit, and surrounded by friends and beautiful scenery. There seems to be no end to these pictures and, looking at the dates, this person is posting new ones at least every week. 

Now, when you come across this profile, you haven’t done anything fun for what seems like a long time! ‘When was the last time I took a picture looking that happy?’ you think to yourself. ‘How did this person achieve enough success to live such a full life, when, in my opinion, they were never that special? Kind of annoying to be around?’

Vincent, what if when you see those pictures, when you have those thoughts, what if you could press a button to make that person a little less happy? A little less confident? A little less in-your-face with their social media presence? 

Would you be interested in a button that could do that?” 

“…Go on.” 

“Of course, once connected, it wouldn’t have to be used to decrease someone's mood, it could be used in the opposite direction as well. You need a little boost of energy late in the day, so you press the button a few times. You’re worried your parents think you’ve forgotten about them, so you press a few times to let them know you haven’t. Your dog stays at home during the work day so, to make sure he knows he’s a good boy, you press your button. 

It gets even better. I’ve run some models and, once scaled, these buttons could potentially connect to multiple people at once. They could be used in schools, to drive social change in our communities, to influence whole populations of people to reduce their carbon footprint…

These buttons will be used to optimize your personal life, to help your friends and family, and to improve the world. The possibilities really are limitless. 

This universal, wireless device, can be programmed to do anything… at the push of a button! I’m telling you Vincent, this is going to make us very wealthy.”

“…Is that it? Is that your pitch? Maybe I missed it… how does any of this work?” 

“…I guess I wasn’t clear. You press the button, there’s just one, and it can do anything you program it to do. And we take security quite seriously, so they’ll have a fingerprint authentication sensor built onto the button itself, very sleek design.”

“Right… My question is, how does the button communicate with people? How does it control their emotions? By what mechanism does the button effect their behavior? Do the people need to consent to the button connection process? I was following when you were talking about the oven stuff…” 

“Look, look, I was stuck on that part for a while too, Vincent. How does this all work? How do these buttons work? I knew I had something big here, with the buttons, if only I could put it all together.  

But, at some point a few months ago, after vigorously pressing a prototype I have in my office for the better part of an hour, I realized, the technology already exists. The mechanism is built-in to each and every one of us…”

“Hold on, hold on. I don’t mean to cut you off, but I don’t really believe anything you’re saying. If you can’t tell me something tangible in the next few minutes I may have to ask you to leave.

I wish Benjamin would show up, he’s the one that agreed to this meeting.”

“Vincent, I understand this is a lot to hear at once. It’s a huge fucking idea, excuse my language. As you said earlier, we’re all friends here. I’m not trying to get one by ya, or to pull the wool over your eyes. You’re Vincent Cole, I know better than that. 

Let’s go back to the oven. That’s concrete. That’s tangible. I was on that drive, Vincent, leaving behind a beautiful beach and the rest of an afternoon riding whitecaps, for what? To turn off my oven? 

It was already off Vincent! It was already off! My oven was already off! I turned it off before I left my house, with the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies Vincent! 

I didn’t want a button to actually, physically, turn my oven off, or on, or in any other direction. To what, connect to a satellite? My button!? C’mon Vincent! What, and now my oven is internet-connected or some shit? No! 

Vincent, my oven was already off…the button was for me…” 

“… So the buttons don’t do anything? That’s your idea?” 

“Of course they do something. Pressing a button feels great! It feels really good. I have one here for you to try. Go ahead. Press it! Yeah, that’s it. Ride that smooth plunge all the way down. That’s a button Vincent.

And it really does have the fingerprint sensor. No, not this one, but it's just an old prototype. And, once unlocked, you just flip this switch on the side here. When it’s in the up position you can speak the name and desired response of any person or device, any target, and then just flip the switch back down… viola, connected.” 

“… You are saying the buttons don’t do anything… but they look technological and are pleasant to push.”

“Everyone will want one Vincent. They will need one. They might need a few, one at home, one for the car, one at the office. And once they start pressing they won’t remember how they ever lived without one.”

“Ok… How much? How much would you charge?” 

“Oh Vincent, I’m glad you asked. We want these to be available to everyone, not just another luxury gadget for the connected elite. That said, we also want the public to understand their value, not to see them as disposable or a gimmick. Which they most certainly are not.

After a lot of market research, we think $99 is a reasonable jumping off point. For the basic button. We don’t need to get into this now, but there will of course be higher-end models, accessories, customizations, an online streaming platform… 

Vincent, this is the next Amazon. This is ten times bigger than the next Twitter will be. This is the automobile combined with antidepressants placed in between two pieces of sliced bread.” 

“I thought Benjamin would be here by now… look, you have a lot of energy and you clearly believe deeply in your product. I like that. 

On the other hand, I don’t think this is a good idea. A button that doesn’t do anything that costs one-hundred dollars,” 

“Ninety-nine dollars.”

“…but, admittedly, I don’t know what kids are doing these days. I can’t keep up with the trends, with the wants of the public. Personally, I think our consumer culture is spiraling out of control, toward a very dark place, a place I don’t plan to think much about. But, that’s why I have Benjamin, and that’s why he sets up meetings with people like you.” 

“So… you’ll invest?” 

“What are these buttons called? What is the name of your company?” 

“The name? The name… I honestly hadn’t thought about it yet Vincent. What do you think of iPush?”

“…where is Benjamin? He said he’d be here by now.”