Incomplete Fabrics
For years, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing something. That I didn’t understand what so many others easily could. What are scarves used for? What is their purpose?
It gnawed at me. Whenever I saw a scarf loosely covering some thin strip of neck skin, I couldn’t help feel that I was looking at an incomplete article of clothing. One of the stunted offspring of an ancient proto-scarf that arrested partway through development. That, originally bound for a more expansive role, scarves somehow got sidetracked.
I thought they served no purpose that couldn’t be achieved by a more comprehensive piece of clothing. For example, many coats have tall collars that can insulate the neck. A hood-up hoodie protects at least 3/4ths of the circumference and perhaps more with the draw string cinched. Turtle-necks exist, if you are so bold. Yes, until very recently, I thought scarves were redundant, formless clutter with no real role to play in a sensible wardrobe. That was, until recently.
Revelations often happen when you least expect; when you are focused on something so far from the question that you stumble into an answer from the other side.
My partner and I recently came into a sizable collection of table runners. Like tablecloths, they are laid on tables. Unlike tablecloths, they cover only a thin center strip of tablewood. They seem rather… incomplete. But, since we now have a sizable collection, there is now one on our table.
Just last week, we were eating a taco dinner. Unsurprisingly, a trickle of sauce found its way onto my taco hand. I quickly packed the leaky end of taco into my mouth and reached for a napkin before the spicy spill could reach my sleeve. It was only after the fact that I realized; I was wiping taco sauce on our table runner.
That’s when it hit me, all at once. Table runners aren’t skinny tablecloths! They are incredible napkins. Ever-present, gigantic, communal napkins.
Partially chewed taco fell out my mouth, suddenly agape with realization. How long have I had these blinders on, seeing only what I choose to see? How can I have been so small minded? What else have I missed?
Scarves. As we all know, they are the table runners of the clothing world. And, until the taco revelation, I thought this meant they were superfluous and awkward. But oh, how wrong I was. Scarves aren’t incomplete sweaters; they are tremendous handkerchiefs!
Their length allows for recurrent use with low risk of accidentally landing in a prior snot pocket. And they are carried about the shoulders for quick and easy access when you feel a sneeze brewing. The fact that they add a suggestion of warmth to a shred of neck is relatively unimportant, but I guess still a welcome bonus, especially because runny noses are prevalent in cool weather.
It is already well known that athletic head and wrist bands are meant for wiping sweat and human waste. I now see that this should have been a clue, a signal to help my feeble mind understand what so many others intuitively grasp.
Neck ties aren’t terrible tank tops! They are silky, mobile napkins.
Capes aren’t goofy half-ponchos! They are elegant, flowing towels.
Throw pillows aren’t disruptive decorations! They are squishy face wipes, conveniently located on the couch where you eat popcorn and watch movies.
The list of fabric items that seem incomplete or useless is extensive. But, if you haven’t already, I invite you to reexamine your relationship to these sometimes puzzling objects. Perhaps they aren’t what they appear… perhaps, instead… they are napkins.
*the opinions expressed regarding scarves, table runners, and/or throw pillows are satirical and not intended to malign any particular individuals who find such items useful as more than napkins and/or handkerchiefs.
**topic brainstormed with the sensational EM
