Bovine Uprising

Cows take over the world and start eating humans en masse. What’s the sitch?

There’s only so much advice to give in this frighteningly plausible end-of-days scenario. Start by moving to India where the cows would be pretty chill to humans, due to centuries of being worshiped. Learn to make a bomb vegetarian curry and share it with your new neighbors. Make sure to milk the bovine overlords when they moo; they really don’t like to ask twice. And try to avoid talking about how much you miss hamburgers, even amongst friends; informers for the new well-marbled regime will be everywhere.